Communication

So you finally showed up and I can't look @ u....it's amazing what happens when one is pushed to the edge. I am mad, angry, disappointed, and disgusted. I want the excuses to stop...I feel disrespected and that is something that I do not deal with. So now, you will visit when you feel it is convient for you I suppose. My question is y? But I will not take these moments away from her...so I continue to let u see her, even though it hurt's me. There is no contact...nothing verbal...jus no communication. For something that once upon a time was so good and feelings were shared. Confused, I am that. I jus know now that this is done, I am numb to the situation...enjoy being a father to ur daughter.

Being a New Mom...

The timing was not at all expected and yes she came early...but I was ready. It odd how u feel ready for things that are not planned, and since she is her mother's child she came when she was ready. The moments that I get to look in Jada's eyes are priceless. The time that we are sharing even more priceless. Jada has the smallest hands, face, smile, nose...her creation is beautiful. I could not have painted a more beautiful portrait even if I tried. My emotions are overwhelmed...she is going to be my best friend. I feel blessed to have her here. All that I keep thinking since 09/23/09 is that God must have known that I was tired. It was becoming stressful just the day to day battle of working. So he decided that it was time. Timing was perfect. Jada looks into my eyes and I feel happiness. The feeling of love and worrying all comes at once just like everyone said. I watch her every move and try to make her comfortable at every moment. I just want her to be happy. We talk and she looks at me...I want her to understand my words. The prayers that I say for her, the love that I express to her, and laughter that we share. I want Jada to feel the love that only her mother can have for her.